One of the first things they tell you when your child enters the NICU is, "Don't be discouraged by setbacks, they are inevitable!" The next thing they tell you is, "Don't be discouraged by setbacks, they are inevitable!" It doesn't take one long to figure out that your life is going to be radically different. There will be days of great joy over a poopy diaper and there will be days of concern because of no poopy diapers. Yes, a day can revolve around whether or not your preemie's body took out the trash.
Jonathan has done well, even with his setbacks. The setbacks he has experienced have not been as serious as those experienced by others. God has been very gracious and merciful in the midst of his allowing pain. It's hard watching your child undergo painful procedures and tests with potentially harmful consequences that are designed for his good. The pain is necessary if you want your child to have a chance at a full life. You can't do it for him, but you have to watch them struggle through it. It's hard not to be discouraged and many times I have been just that, discouraged.
On those days I'm at a loss someone will call, email, write a blog comment, or we'll get a note/card of encouragement. Just when I need it most, God provides a gentle reminder of his love and comfort. I am watching my son struggle with challenges that he cannot face alone and require help. God is watching his child face challenges that he cannot face alone and require help. In both cases, Jonathan's and mine, God is allowing pain designed for our good and at the same time he's providing all we both need to have an abundant life.
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